For today’s post I’m highlighting just three of the questions we discussed because I believe they are applicable to ALL small group ministries whether old or new.  You’ll notice that each question is followed by a subset of questions.  By answering the subsets you’ll find your answers to the 3 main questions.  You’ll also notice that this post is missing my usual commentary.  That’s because I don’t want my opinions or answers to jade yours.

Take some time over the next couple of weeks and really answer these questions.  I believe this exercise will help you discover what’s broken in your ministry, how to avoid potential pitfalls, and clarity regarding the systems and strategies you should use.

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1. What do you want groups to accomplish?

• Why does your church need groups?
• What is the biblical reasoning for this ministry?
• What defines a “win” for a small group in your context?
• What is the definition of “group” in your context or what makes a group a “group”? (e.g. frequency of meeting, group size, mission/purpose)

2. What is the Structure/Control DNA of your Church?

• Does your church more often structure for growth or control?
• Is your Senior pastor more “go with the flow” or more “I want to know every detail”?
• What do you desire more: A faster growing small group ministry or highly trained small group leaders?
• Which does your Senior Leadership prefer?
• Is your church better equipped to handle the problems associated with growth or control?

3. What is your unit of one? 

• What is your mental picture of an ideal leader?
• How realistic is that mental picture? This is your “unit of one” for leaders.
• What is a “disciple” in your context?
• How do you know someone is a disciple in your context? This is your “unit of one” for disciples.
• How do you envision reproducing these mental pictures of leaders and disciples? What systems, strategies, and models will help you best reproduce your units of one?

Yes, I’m a ridiculously fanatical Star Wars lover. I’ve collected Star Wars memorabilia since 1977 and I still enjoy collecting today. Two friends suggested that I write some kind of post about Star Wars and small groups, so here goes. All small groups have a few stereotypical people in them. Today we’ll give faces to a few of these group-member-stereotypes by comparing them to classic Star Wars characters.

Obi Wan Kenobi — The noble group leader who is trying to get a diverse bunch of people on the same page. He understands spiritual growth and the need everyone in the group has for it.  He’s not perfect though: he has martyr issues.

Luke Skywalker — The naive group member who dreams of things to come, and needs to become a little more connected with reality. This person has potential, but needs a lot of growth.

Han Solo — The cocky small group member who is a tough nut to crack.  He acts like he’s got everything together on the surface, but underneath he has real issues and needs the friendship-bond of faith far more than he realizes.

Chewbacca — The group member who seldom says anything, but is loyal to the rest of the group no matter what.

Princess Leia — The group member who recognizes the necessity of small groups and has a “whatever it takes” attitude when it comes to fulfilling the vision of small group ministry.  She asserts herself into a co-leader role whether or not she’s been asked to serve in that capacity.  Although she’s really committed to the group, NEVER ask her about the problem she has with kissing her brother.

See Threepio — Every group has “that person”: the super-needy, always complaining, never optimistic, paranoid, downer who is at the same time the group’s plucky comic relief.

Artoo Deetoo — The group servant.  He loves to help and make sure that everyone feels important. Everyone loves him to the extent that he’s almost the group mascot.

Aunt Beru — The “hostess” of the group.  She loves to bringing food and being the group “mom”.  She’s really nice, but don’t drink her blue milk.  It’s good for you, but tastes like Degoba swamp water.

Yoda — The small group coach who shows up from time to time with great advice and insight.  He makes group life look and sound easy, but his coaching is sometimes hard to put into practice.  He also has a slight tendency to talk over group members’ heads.  Plus that whole backwards-speak thing is just weird.  ”Out you must go, for your mission to succeed.”  I mean, seriously, who talks like that?!?!?

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I’m going to say something that might make some of you angry today, but I just have to say it: Some pastors drive me nuts!

In my line of work as a pastor and consultant I meet tons of pastors. All are wonderful people, some just don’t quite get what pastoring is all about though. Here are some of the characteristics of many pastors that make me crazy:

• Focusing on “church growth” rather than mission.
• Thinking small groups are about “getting people connected” rather than discipleship.
• Trying to lead without being relational.
• Identifying things that need to change, but not changing them.
• Tolerating obvious sin in their congregation.  Gossip, division, greed, lack-of-faith, and idolatry top the list of tolerated sins.
• Not having accountability.
• Not being in a small group.
• Having a “vision Sunday” once per year.  People need vision all the time!!!  Over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over…and over!!
• Making plans, without executing them.
• Not returning phone calls or emails.
• Blaming staff for problems without looking to themselves first for fault.
• Openly offering feedback without being open to feedback.

Okay I could go on, but I’ll stop.  There’s my rant.  ’Nuff said.

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It’s important for people in a small group to “click” but it’s destructive if they “clique”. Here’s what I mean: one of Satan’s sneakiest strategies is to take God’s beautiful creations and pervert them. Relationships are no exception. Satan wishes to distort them, make them ugly and divisive. Relationships are perverted in this way when we gather in “cliques” rather than working to make sure everyone in a group “clicks”. Cliques are are harmful because they make people feel left out. Thus, we should make every effort to help our small groups “click” but not “clique”.

Keep in mind that not everyone is going to click with your group right away. It’s okay if people decide to look for another group to attend. Just make sure that you keep all communication lines open and ask people why they’ve left. If they leave because they just didn’t “click” that’s okay. But if they leave because your group is a clique then you have some issues to work out.

My friend Margaret Feinberg, is an amazing author, teacher and speaker.  She just came out with TWO new small group curriculums in a new series that you should all know about.  These first two titles are Pursuing God’s Beauty: Stories from the Gospel of John and Pursuing God’s Love: Stories from the Book of Genesis. I recently caught up with Margaret to find out about her two new studies.

Where did you develop the concept for this series? I reached a place in my own spiritual life where I felt disconnected from God. I decided to return to the foundations of my faith by reading through the Book of Genesis. Something sparked as I studied, and so I continued reading and rereading for more than 18 months.

During that time, I kept hearing a reverberation in conversations with people around the country who were looking for a Bible study that wasn’t topical but rather based on a book of the Bible—allowing them to really dive deeper into the Scripture. But they admitted that either they or some of the members of their small groups don’t have time to tackle an hour of homework a night. So I began to develop a study that created an equal playing field for the veteran believer who had time to do 30-minutes of homework a night and the young mom who barely has time to take shower. Both can engage in this study—whether or not they’ve done the homework that week—and explore the Scripture together. The study encourages participants to not only grow deeper in relationship with God but with each other as they discuss and share life together.

What are some of the unique features of the studies? Pursuing God’s Beauty: Stories from the Gospel of John and Pursuing God’s Love: Stories from the Book of Genesis are six-session DVD Bible studies with each session averaging 18 minutes in length—leaving plenty of time for discussion and digging deeper into the Scripture and topics covered. Pursuing God’s Beauty is filmed in an artist’s loft with an artist painting in the background—the picture complete with the final session. Pursuing God’s Beauty is filmed outdoors in Colorado with rock climbers in the background. Each lesson features icebreaker questions as well as experiential activities, and five after-hours studies each week are provided in the participant’s guide for those who want to dive deeper into the Scripture at home.

What do you hope people get out of these studies? Studying the Bible is more than something for ‘religious’ people and is more than something done in isolation. Through these studies, we’re reminded the Bible was meant to be discussed in community, and its stories are powerful enough to speak to each one of us—wherever we are and whatever our circumstances might be.

Why did you select Genesis as one of the book of the Bible to dive into? It’s amazing to think that everything we see and encounter in our world today—whether in a place like this with breathtaking views or in a more urban context all began in Genesis.

I love this book of the Bible, because Genesis is the story of our beginnings. In fact, the first word of the Bible in Hebrew is beresheet meaning “in the beginning”. This is the story of our origins, where we began, the formation of our cosmos and humanity. It is also the story of alienation from God, from each other, and from the creation. It’s is also the story of his loving initiative to redeem the world back to himself.

The Genesis story matters because in order to understand where we are today, we must go back to the beginning. The past helps us understand our present and illuminates our future.

In studying the Gospel of John, you invite readers to explore the beauty of God. Why should you and I pursue God’s beauty? Ultimately, you and I were designed to be captivated by God’s beauty. And when we pursue His beauty—we can’t help but find ourselves on a journey… to know more about God, His character, attributes, ways and work, in our world. And the miracle of this journey is that along the way we find breathtaking portraits of salvation, redemption, and restoration.

Perhaps no book of the Bible paints a clearer picture of this then the Gospel of John. Throughout the Gospel of John, the beauty of God radiates in the person of Jesus Christ—the one in whom God displayed his whole heart for the world to see. It’s within the person of Jesus that we find the invisible attributes of God being made visible, on display like the fine pieces of artwork in this gallery—to be enjoyed, celebrated, and reflected upon.

Where can people learn more? Check out www.pursuinggodbible.com for a sample lesson, download, message boards and special offers.

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I have one copy of each study to give away.  Here’s how to enter:  Leave a comment below and I’ll randomly select a winner on Monday, September 19th. The winner will get both studies. Enjoy!!

Our strategy for growth was nothing original to us. We leveraged the campaign method that Saddleback innovated during the 40 Days of Purpose movement. Twice per year our pastor, Craig Groeschel, would have a group-centric series. We’d provide video curriculum for leaders, ask everyone to get in a group, and it worked well for us.

Although I couldn’t articulate it at the time, looking back I see one key principle that gave us the most success:  we structured the small group ministry for numerical growth rather than control. I once heard Rick Warren say “You can structure for growth or you can structure for control, but you can’t structure for both.” That statement helped me recognize that we habitually structured for growth. Whenever growth would stall, it was because we were trying to structure for control.

Here’s what I mean: Structuring for growth means removing obstacles that inhibit growth. The results of such methods are explosive numerical expansion which is exciting, but messy. Structuring for control means putting some barriers in place that will slow numerical increase, but the trade off is less chaos.

Here are some examples:

• Structuring for growth: “Anyone can start a LifeGroup. Just signup online, pick up your DVD and press play.” Tons of people will step up, but (as you can imagine) this is pretty chaotic.
• Structuring for control: “Only people who are members of the church and have completed a 6-part training series may start a LifeGroup.” Far fewer people can or will start a group, but the results are more stable.

• Structure for growth: Setting the bar low on the front end and raising it relationally on the back end. Anyone could start a group, but everyone was assigned a coach who would work with them for a season to help them succeed. The “secret sauce” here is the relationships between coaches and new leaders.
• Structure for control: Setting the bar high on the front end and maintaining it systematically. Only the few who complete the necessary steps can start a group. Then they are required to fill out attendance reports, go to annual training events, etc. The “secret sauce” here is quality and attractive training methods.

No church swings 100% either way. Every church wants to grow, but there are some things that have to be controlled (you MUST control who can work with children, for example). However, looking back at LifeChurch.tv and looking at the other churches I’ve worked with in consulting, I’ve seen that the most effective churches are those who intentionally choose to err on one side or the other.

On one side of the equation we find Community Christian Church in Chicago has one of the most tightly controlled small group models anywhere, and they are very happy with it. The result is that after 25+ years, they have a remarkably healthy and large group ministry.  On the other side of this equation we find Saddleback who errs on the side of growth and they have more people in groups than they have in Sunday worship attendance.

There’s something positive about both approaches, but on some level, growth and control are what I call “competing values.” The key for every group ministry is to decide which of those values is more in step with your church’s DNA, and choosing to err on that side. Churches that struggle with their small group ministries are trying too hard to mix the oil and water of growth and control. They need to pick which one fits them best and lean in that direction most often. This does not mean that you should throw the baby out with the bath water! Saddleback has controls in place, but they are very strategically selected and they are few. More often than not, they choose growth. CCC in Chicago has a growing small group ministry, but it’s taken them a quarter of a century to build it through a highly controlled approach. More often than not they choose control.  Both approaches work, but only when a church sells out to one side of the equation.

All that to say, at LifeChurch.tv our small group ministry erred on the side of growth most often and the result was quick numerical increase and a large number of people participating in groups.

Which side of the growth/control equation seems to jive best with your church?  How have you seen the two values of growth and control compete?

Yes, I used strong language in the title of this post. No, I don’t hate missional small groups. What I hate are small group mission projects.  Why?  Because they’re PROJECTS.

What’s a project? It’s a short-term activity designed to accomplish a goal.  There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with a small group mission project, after all they serve people who are in need.  However, they tend to have a tragic side effect:  a sense of being “done.”

Are people meant to be projects? Are people meant to be goals? Is mission ever truly “done?” No, no, and uh…NO!

When small groups do mission projects they can easily miss the point of mission: relationship. Jesus didn’t die for projects or goals. He died so people could experience relationship with God. When done right, mission not only offers people a relationship with God, but it creates relationships between those on mission and those being served.

Seldom will a person become a Christ-follower because a group of people mowed their lawn once. Seldom will someone choose to surrender to Christ because someone painted their fence one weekend. Most people will follow Jesus because they saw Christ’s love being lived out over time by people they know.

If your small group is going to be on mission, try not to just identify projects.  Try instead to identify people you can get to know.  Serve them, love them, help them, do life with them.

Sounds a lot riskier than just mowing a lawn doesn’t it? You’re right. It is risky. Jesus took the greatest risk of all by dying for our sins, I think we can risk the messiness of relationships with unpredictable people. The sterile nature of “projects” is just not risky enough for my taste.

Okay, my rant is done…but our mission is not.

1. Add LEADER Training Videos To Your DVD Curriculum.  Most small group campaigns include free DVD curriculum for small group leaders. So why not take advantage of the tremendous amount of space available on a DVD to add some training? Simply add additional menus on the DVD with some training videos. Every small group ministry leader has struggled getting group leaders trained, so sending training to the leaders is a valid solution. By adding a few short videos that answer leaders’ frequently asked questions, you are putting training directly in their hands!  Now you’re thinking, “I don’t have time to shoot leader training videos.” That’s okay, use these videos from Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky. Bill Search, the small group pastor at SECC, sent this link to me and asked me to pass it on to church leaders.  Bill says this is a free resource for all churches.  Feel free to download the videos and use them however you wish. Choose the videos that you think are best for your leaders and add them to your DVDs.
2. Add GROUP Training To Your DVD Curriculum. Leader training is not the only training problem in small group ministry. A frequently overlooked problem is the fact that group members don’t know how to be good group members. So how do you train group members?  Adding a short 90 second (or so) video on the front end of each week’s video curriculum can teach group members a few things they should expect from one another.  Here are 4 videos that we put on DVD our curriculum at LifeChurch.tv. One video would automatically play right before week’s curriculum.  1) Building Trust  2) Promoting Spiritual Growth  3) Developing Relationships 4) Being Intentional. Download these videos using www.savetube.com and add them to your DVDs. TIP: if you don’t call your groups “Life Groups” then simply re-record your own voice-over. Click here to download the scripts for these videos.
3. Provide Invite Cards for Group Leaders. It’s important to equip your group leaders with tools to help them get new people in their groups. Personal invite cards are a simple way to help your leaders out. Here are some pdf templates that you can give your leaders so they can fill in the appropriate information, print out the cards, and hand them to potential group members. Blue, Gray, Navy, Red, Instructions. Be sure to provide the instructions to your leaders!  TIP:  If you want to change the format or color of these files, you may do so using Adobe Designer.

Providing these three tools can help make your already awesome small group campaign even better.  Go ahead…turn up the dial to 11!!

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Almost every small group has “that person”.  You know, the one who talks too much, interrupts other people, never brings snacks, eats all the snacks, causes drama, has all the answers to your problems but none for theirs, and generally raises everyone else’s blood pressure.  ”That person” makes others in the group think, “our small group was awesome until ‘that person’ started coming!”  By the way, if you can’t think of someone in your group who fits this description it might be that you are the person who fits the description.  ;-)

Seriously though, what do you do with this person?  Your conversations with them about their “issues” seem to fall on deaf ears.  You want to haul off and smack “that person” upside the head, but you’re pretty sure that he/she would call the cops and have you arrested for assault.  Plus there’s the whole WWJD thing…I don’t think Jesus would smack “that person”.

So in our frustration the answer seems to be this:  lovingly, gently, but firmly uninvite “that person”.  If that’s the answer, then you’re wondering “How do I kick ‘that person’ out of my group?”  As a general rule I say, “Don’t”.

God seldom brings others into our lives to we can “fix” them.  Rather, He usually wants to use them to “fix” us.

The Bible says, “Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17 (NASB)

Look at this verse a little differently today.  Ask God, “How are You using ‘that person’ to sharpen me, Lord?”  You’ll find it much more rewarding to stop whining about “that person” and begin focusing on letting God develop your character through “that person”.  Who knows, you might even start thanking God for “that person”.

Groupon and Living Social are two super-hot websites that allow consumers to get great deals on products and services.  Similarly, Only144 is a new site that offers incredible deals to churches.

I’m writing about them today because they are having an amazing sale on some great small group curriculum.  Mark Driscoll, Tommy Nelson, and Matt Chandler have just finished three studies that are now available for small groups.  On Friday, July 29, 2011 Only144 is going to sell all three of these curriculums together for $144. The normal price for all three is $600, so that’s a savings of over 78%!!!

To help promote the sale, I’ve been authorized by Only144 to give away a set of all three curriculums to one reader.  To be eligible to win, you must leave a comment below answering the following question:  What is your favorite, funny one-liner?

TIP: Can’t think of a one liner, or don’t think you’re funny enough to enter? Click Here for help.

The one I think is funniest will win all three curriculums valued at $600!!  I’ll choose a winner on Friday, July 22 and notify you by email, so be sure to include a valid email address with your comment.