But all of you, leaders and followers alike, are to be down to earth with each other, for—
“God has had it with the proud,
But takes delight in just plain people.”
~1 Peter 5:5 (MSG)

Organizations need avenues for honest, humble feedback.  One of those avenues is the hiring process.  New hires must know that it is a practice in your organization to provide immediate, honest feedback.  During the interview give the potential hire some honest, blunt (not cruel) feedback and see how he/she responds.  If the response is folded arms, skepticism, glares, or even panic, this person shouldn’t be hired.  Why?  Because they aren’t humble enough to receive feedback.

Another avenue is what I call the “post event review”.  Soon after an individual or team conducts a presentation, project, or meeting take 5 to 10 minutes to review the event with that person or team.  Talk about what went well, then talk very honestly about what could be better, but never use this as an opportunity to bully.

These first two avenues will lead to an organization that destroys the morale of its team members unless accompanied by a third avenue: the avenue where bosses receive the same kind of feedback from their teams. 360 degree surveys are a great way to get feedback, but making it a regular practice to ask for immediate, honest feedback is much better. The catch here is that leaders must openly hear criticism and NEVER become defensive. If you become defensive when someone you lead is giving you feedback, then you have immediately caused a breakdown of the system.  Those in leadership positions set the tone for cruelty/kindness, honesty/BS, fear/safety.  Leaders must be secure enough to receive this kind of feedback and change their own behaviors accordingly.

Here’s the bottom line: because of insecurity and pride people don’t want to offer or receive feedback. So because of insecurity and pride our organizations stagnate.  Top-down and bottom-up (universal) immediate, honest feedback is kryptonite to insecurity and pride. Immediate, honest feedback is the builder of humility, but only if the leaders of an organization allow it to be.

That is one of the biggest issues for ministers today because of the model of success that comes to us. We get the idea we are supposed to make something happen, and so we need our services to go just right. The concluding benediction has hardly ceased before those in charge are saying to one another, “How did it go?” or “It went really well.” The truth is we don’t know how it went. From God’s point of view, it will be eternity before we know how it went. These folks are not at peace if they are trying to manage outcomes in that way.

This paragraph really got me thinking. I’ve traveled all over the United States working with churches of all sizes and denominations. Most of the pastors I’ve worked with fit the description in the above paragraph. This is because of what I call “the idolatry of excellence.” Don’t get me wrong, I believe that excellence is a good thing. The problem is that it’s just so easy for excellence to become THE thing.

I was filling in for a pastor once and had a video that was a part of my sermon.  When it came time for the video to run, I gave the verbal cue and sat on the stool behind me.  The video didn’t play.  For what felt like an eternity there was silence. Then I said, “And that was the cue for a video to run.”  People laughed and the video started.

In the tech booth, the producer had missed my first cue for the video.  When I sat down he was wondering why I’d gone silent.  When I gave the second cue he had a moment of panic and then hit “play.”

After the service he sought me out and (for lack of a better term) grovelled. “I’m so sorry, Alan. I made a mental error. I went back and watched that part of the service on video and my mistake led to a full 12 seconds of dead air.  Please forgive me!”

“Done,” I replied. “There are much more important things to think about than a simple mistake.  I’m just glad we got to work together.”

The producer was stunned. He said, “If you were my Senior Pastor I’d probably be fired right now.”

“Well I wouldn’t fire you,” I quickly said. “Seven people made decisions to follow Christ at the end of the service.  I call that a win.  Thanks for doing your part to lead people to Jesus.”

About a week later I was talking to the senior pastor at that church and he confirmed that he would have fired the producer that night for making such a huge mistake.  Thankfully the pastor said, “The next day I would’ve felt bad and I would have apologized and offered him his job back.”

That whole experience shook me. Why do we get so caught up in excellence that we are willing to do emotional damage to the people on our team?  Why do we believe that getting things perfect is that important?  When we lose sight of what really matters we’ve made excellence a god.

What matters?

1. People.  God loves people.  People can never meet God’s perfect expectations but He loves them anyway.  If people are going to fail, and God accepts them anyway, who are we to treat people differently? We, as leaders, should never sacrifice a person’s dignity because of a mistake. We should focus our attention on what God is doing in spite of our mistakes, rather than focusing our attention on what we can do when we are mistake free.
2. Eternity. Focus on eternal wins not temporal mistakes. Because of Christ’s work on the cross God forgives all of our temporal errors and gives us eternal life. If we have a hard time forgiving someone’s simple mental error, we really need to examine our own hearts!
3. Jesus. We are commanded to do all things for his glory, not ours. We are also commanded by Jesus to love our neighbors as ourselves. Abusing people, in the name of excellence, when they fail doesn’t fulfill either of these commands. To honor Jesus we must honor people.

Below are 10 practices you should consider to help improve your ability to influence the people you lead:

• Treat people like human beings rather than human resources.  Too often leaders threaten their followers, use them, or neglect them.  Remember, the people you lead are just that:  PEOPLE.  Leaders who write people off and treat them poorly always reap the negative benefits of those actions later.
• Err on the side of generosity.  Be generous with your time.  Be generous with your resources.  Be generous with forgiveness, praise and encouragement.  Yes, this will cost you, but the results are worth it.
• Always let people know where they stand.  It is leadership cruelty to let under-performing team members think they’re doing well and to let excellent team members wonder if they’re succeeding.  Give your followers clear direction and keep them abreast of how you view their progress.
• Believe in your team.  People beat themselves up a lot, they don’t need you to add any bruises to their collection.  Help their confidence by believing in the people on your team.  Look for the untapped potential in all of your team members.  Tell them you are proud of them.  Tell them you believe in them.  When you reprimand someone make sure you genuinely believe they can improve.  If you don’t believe in your team, you have the wrong people on your team, you have people in the wrong positions or you are too darn cynical.  Figure out which it is and take address the issue immediately!
• Praise people publicly and correct them privately.  Never never never never reprimand people publicly.  You’ll lose equity with the person being corrected and the people hearing the reprimand.  Always always always encourage people publicly. This gives a boost to the person being praised and gives hope to those hearing the encouraging words.
• Refuse to respond in anger.  When a team member fails, don’t explode.  If you’re mad, go somewhere to cool off before you address the issue.  When you explode, you make the people you lead afraid of telling you when something is wrong.  Losing your temper is the fastest way to create a culture where your followers lie to your face and cover up their mistakes.  Can you say, “unhealthy?”
• Apologize.  When you make a mistake, admit it. Tell your followers that you regret your actions. DON’T MAKE EXCUSES or say “I’m sorry, but…”  Just say “I’m sorry.” The people you lead don’t expect you to be perfect, but they do want you to be humble.
• Send hand-written notes. In an era of emails, texts, tweets and Facebook wall posts, it’s truly astounding to be given a hand-written note. Send hand-written apologies, thank you’s and notes of encouragement. Your team will be moved by the fact that you’ve taken a little extra time for them.
• Strive for excellence.  My former pastor, Craig Groeschel, often says, “Excellence honors God and inspires people.” I couldn’t agree more.  As you strive for and expect excellence, your team will respond. People want to do remarkable things. They want what they do to matter. Aiming for quality results contributes to a culture of excitement, hope, confidence and expectation.
• Do what you say. Nothing will undermine your leadership influence faster than inconsistency. Never forget, people judge themselves by their intentions but they judge you by your actions. When you don’t do what you say, people begin to think you lack integrity. They may overlook it at first, but eventually they’ll think you are full of hot air (at best) or an outright liar (at worst). Do your absolute best to always follow through on all of your commitments no matter what!

—————————————————————–

I’m going to say something that might make some of you angry today, but I just have to say it: Some pastors drive me nuts!

In my line of work as a pastor and consultant I meet tons of pastors. All are wonderful people, some just don’t quite get what pastoring is all about though. Here are some of the characteristics of many pastors that make me crazy:

• Focusing on “church growth” rather than mission.
• Thinking small groups are about “getting people connected” rather than discipleship.
• Trying to lead without being relational.
• Identifying things that need to change, but not changing them.
• Tolerating obvious sin in their congregation.  Gossip, division, greed, lack-of-faith, and idolatry top the list of tolerated sins.
• Not having accountability.
• Not being in a small group.
• Having a “vision Sunday” once per year.  People need vision all the time!!!  Over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over…and over!!
• Making plans, without executing them.
• Not returning phone calls or emails.
• Blaming staff for problems without looking to themselves first for fault.
• Openly offering feedback without being open to feedback.

Okay I could go on, but I’ll stop.  There’s my rant.  ’Nuff said.

————————————————————————————-

To me, 1 Samuel 27 is one of the most confusing passages of Scripture in the entire Bible.  I have a hard time understanding this chapter in light of the fact that David is the only person in the Bible to be called “a man after God’s own heart”.  How can the liar and ruthless killer we find in 1 Samuel 27 be “a man after God’s own heart?”  Honestly, I’m just not sure.  Then when you pile on the fact that David later committed adultery and murder, the whole “man after God’s own heart” title is a pill that’s pretty hard to swallow.

Why am I not “a man after God’s own heart?”  Why don’t I get such a title?  I mean, I try to honor God.  I strive to live a life that pleases Him.  I don’t cheat on my wife or my taxes.  I have accountability and very clear boundaries in my life in order to remain virtuous.  I haven’t murdered anyone and I try to be a man of integrity.  Then again, in my heart I’ve committed all of these sins.

I have hated and lusted, which Jesus equates to murder and adultery.  I’ve lied to and deceived others far too often.  My sinful nature makes me a lying, cheating, killer.  So while I don’t understand 1 Samuel 27, this passage gives me hope.  If the lying, murdering, cheating David was able to capture God’s heart, maybe there’s something in me that can capture God’s heart as well.

At the very least, I can understand what David meant when he wrote Psalm 16:2 saying, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing” (NIV).

David thought to himself, “Sooner or later, Saul’s going to get me. The best thing I can do is escape to Philistine country. Saul will count me a lost cause and quit hunting me down in every nook and cranny of Israel. I’ll be out of his reach for good.” So David left; he and his six hundred men went to Achish son of Maoch, king of Gath. They moved in and settled down in Gath, with Achish. Each man brought his household; David brought his two wives, Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail, widow of Nabal of Carmel. When Saul was told that David had escaped to Gath, he called off the hunt. Then David said to Achish, “If it’s agreeable to you, assign me a place in one of the rural villages. It doesn’t seem right that I, your mere servant, should be taking up space in the royal city.” So Achish assigned him Ziklag. (This is how Ziklag got to be what it is now, a city of the kings of Judah.) David lived in Philistine country a year and four months. From time to time David and his men raided the Geshurites, the Girzites, and the Amalekites—these people were longtime inhabitants of the land stretching toward Shur and on to Egypt. When David raided an area he left no one alive, neither man nor woman, but took everything else: sheep, cattle, donkeys, camels, clothing—the works. Then he’d return to Achish.

Achish would ask, “And whom did you raid today?”
David would tell him, “Oh, the Negev of Judah,” or “The Negev of Jerahmeel,” or “The Negev of the Kenites.” He never left a single person alive lest one show up in Gath and report what David had really been doing. This is the way David operated all the time he lived in Philistine country. Achish came to trust David completely. He thought, “He’s made himself so repugnant to his people that he’ll be in my camp forever.”

1 Samuel 27:1-12 (The Message)

—————————————————————————————

Elisha, an Old Testament prophet in Israel and Judah, followed in the footsteps of the similarly named prophet Elijah.  As reported in Scripture, the former prophet, Elijah, did not die.  Rather, when his time on earth was up, God took him directly to heaven riding on chariots of fire.  Before going up to heaven, Elijah prayed that God would give Elisha a “double portion” of God’s spirit.  Then the younger prophet Elisha witnessed Elijah fly up to Heaven.  With a double portion of God’s Spirit, Elisha took up Elijah’s cloak and became his successor.

Elisha did his job well for years.  He was a godly prophet and advisor to kings.  Then we read about the end of his life in 2 Kings 13:14 & 20 (MSG), “Elisha came down sick.  It was the sickness of which he would soon die…Then Elisha died and they buried him”.  I just have to be honest for a minute; this passage of Scripture throws me off a bit.  Elisha had a double portion of God’s Spirit.  Why didn’t he get a non-stop flight to Heaven like Elijah did?  That doesn’t seem fair.

Then it hit me; I prefer stories where the heroes have happy or glorious endings.  The former prophet, Elijah, had both a glorious and happy ending.  Elisha’s ending was…well…kinda dull.

Elisha’s ending may not be quite as exciting to tell as Elijah’s, but I suppose that’s the point of this passage.  Most of us will have rather unglamorous endings to our stories, but it’s not the endings that really matter.  What matters is the in-between.  There are two dates on every grave marker in every cemetery:  date of birth, and date of death.  The most important thing on every headstone, though, is not the dates, but the hyphen.  It’s that tiny dash that documents how a person lived.

Elisha’s hyphen is made up of his godly life, his obedience, his character, and the miracles in which he participated.  What will people remember when they see my hyphen or yours?  The great news for all of us today is that we have time to add plenty of great stuff to our hyphens.  We may not all have a glorious ending, but we can all have a great hyphen.

——————————————————————————–

In my devotional time I’ve been reading through the New Testament in The Message translation and I’m finally in the last book:  Revelation.  This is a tough book to read.  Symbolism, the apocalypse, judgement, death, and suffering are common themes in many of its chapters..  Because of this, its easy to read a chapter or two in Revelation and walk away without feeling motivated or inspired.

Today was different.  I read two chapters about plagues that would harm the earth and kill billions of people; it was kinda depressing.  Then I read:

The remaining men and women who weren’t killed by these weapons went on their merry way— didn’t change their way of life, didn’t quit worshiping demons, didn’t quit centering their lives around lumps of gold and silver and brass, hunks of stone and wood that couldn’t see or hear or move. ~Rev 9:20 (MSG)

After reading about plagues and suffering, this verse stood out to me.  Why?  Because it reminds me of myself.

How many times have I finished a semester in the “school of hard knocks” only to return on my “merry way” and not change my way of life?  Too often.  Painful times should draw us to God, but all too often they don’t.  Too often, we survive a painful season and still center our lives around lumps of gold, silver, brass, stone and wood (material things), rather than centering our lives around God.

The chief lesson taught in the “school of hard knocks” is that we should trust and serve God only.  Because we don’t learn this lesson, we are stubborn, foolish people.  Sometimes I think I’m the stubbornest and most foolish of us all.

Lord, teach me to depend wholly on You rather than things.  Change my stubbornness into teachability.  Change my foolishness into faith.  A-men

On Friday our cable company provided HBO free to its customers through the 4th of July. Included in that is free HBO on demand for the same period of time. Now I must confess that I’m a sucker for some of the HBO Original Series’. The Sopranos, Band of Brothers, and The Pacific are my favorites. After getting HBO on demand free a few days ago, I started watching Game of Thrones. It’s a story of a fictional world set in medieval times starring Sean Bean who played Boromir in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I’m a geek who loves fantasy tales so I was hooked about five minutes into the first episode.

Today as I prayed I felt distant from God. My Bible reading time wasn’t vibrant. I didn’t feel a strong desire to spend time with Jesus. Something was off. Then it hit me: I feel off because my mental diet changed significantly over the last few days.

I usually watch kids shows and family-friendly movies with my children, or shows (that I don’t really like very much) with my wife. Over the last few days I’ve withdrawn from those experiences more to watch episodes of Game of Thrones; I changed my mental diet. I changed it from harmless fun to dark, twisted, immoral and violent tales. No wonder I don’t feel as connected to God. That changes today! My relationship with Jesus is more important to me than finding out about Sean Bean’s fate in a cable TV show.

For the record, I’m not one of those pastors who is going to preach against HBO, the media, and Hollywood. I’m sick of Christians who are known more for what they are against than what they are for. I’m a recovering legalist who cringes when I hear preachers lambasting our culture and I’ll NEVER tell people that they must avoid all movies, TV and secular music to be a godly Christian. Those kinds of pharisee-like statements make me sick!!!

That said, I do believe that the things we mentally ingest, directly influence our spiritual lives. When we think about pure things and set our minds on things that honor God, we are more able to hear Him. When we drench our minds in things that don’t honor God, we have a hard time hearing Him.

Don’t be a legalistic fanatic, but be mindful of the things you absorb; it does impact your spiritual health.  Our moms were right after all when they said, “You are what you eat.”

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

~Phil 4:8 (NIV)

It’s the day after Easter and yesterday’s services were amazing. Our music was better than ever, the flow of the service was flawless, the place was packed, the kid’s ministry was excellent, and the facility looked amazing. There was even a moment in the second service when the power went off for about a minute (there was a nice thunder storm outside), and the band just kept on playing. I preached a passionate message explaining the gospel in simple terms, and we had more people respond to Christ yesterday than we’ve had since I started my position at the church. Afterwards the lobby was buzzing. We had four simple mission opportunities for people to act on, and those tables were super busy. Tons of local people will be helped by the activity at those tables. Even with the power-outage, the entire day was a huge win.

So why am I feeling kinda down today? Because I’m neurotic (overly anxious). I’ve replayed my part in yesterday’s services over and over again and here are some things I did poorly:

1. I got pretty excited during the second service and for a moment turned into “screaming preacher.” I really don’t like it when I do that.
2. I preached too long in the second service.
3. I felt like my message in the first service was the best one.
4. I accidentally said “Jesus blood was poured out and his bones were broken for you.” I meant to say “his body was broken for you.” Every preacher knows that Jesus’ bones were not broken, thus fulfilling the Old Testament prophecy.
5. In truth, I feel like my entire team delivered their best effort yesterday and that my part was the weakest element of the entire day.

Hey pastors, ever feel this way?

As I was replaying yesterday in my mind, I sensed God saying to me, “Alan, why do you keep focusing on yourself? Why do you keep thinking about your ‘performance’ and your abilities? It’s not about you!”

God’s right (of course), it’s not about me. People came to Christ, our staff and volunteers were amazing, God was glorified and the results are up to Him! God wasn’t surprised by my so-called-mistakes yesterday…He will use them as He wills. My imperfections don’t suddenly trump God’s sovereignty…He has a plan.

Lord, help me overcome my tendency to be over-analytical and overly-anxious. This work is about You and Your Kingdom. It’s not about me. Help me continually recognize that truth and find reassurance in it as well.  Amen.